BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI MOTORCYCLE CABAL INAUGURATION CEREMONY FOR NEW PRESIDENTS ---------------------------------------- > CLASSIFIED: FOR B.I.M.C. PRESIDENTS' EYES ONLY! < The Inauguration Ceremony should be held in a private place with neither distractions nor the possibility of intrusions. It is advisable that a Sentry be posted at the entrance of the Inauguration Space to ensure that there are no interruptions during the Inauguration. The Inauguration Space contains an ALTAR upon which burns a FLAME. Upon the ALTAR is placed a DAGGER, a container of MONEY in $1 bills, and a container of BEER. The B.I.M.C. insignia is displayed above and behind the ALTAR . A motorcycle motif should prevail in the decor. Suggestions include candlesticks made of pistons, a valve cover for the MONEY container, the DAGGER could be a cheap switchblade, incense made of sawdust and dirty motor oil could be burned, etc. At least two Presidents are required to perform the Inauguration. PREZ 1 condcts the major part of the Ceremony, and PREZ 2 accompanies the INAUGURANT. PREZ 1 should be in some sort of disguise that conveys an air of both mystery and absurdity. PREZ 2 blindfolds the INAUGURANT and leads him to the Inauguration Space. The INAUGURANT is positioned facing the ALTAR. PREZ 1 stands before him, and PREZ 2 stands behind him. THE CEREMONY PREZ 1: Who's this dirtbag, Prez? PREZ 2: A poser, Prez. PREZ 1: What's his trip? PREZ 2: He says he's a righteous biker, but he seems a bit weird. PREZ 1: A little bent, perhaps? PREZ 2: Mutated, I think. PREZ 1: What's this bent mutated dirtbag weirdo poser doing hanging out with the Illuminati? PREZ 2: He says he wants to see the light. PREZ 1: Well he can't see shit with that fucking blindfold on. Take the goddam thing off! (done) PREZ 1: By what name shall you be called? INAUG: _______ PREZ 1: _______, do you want to become a president of the Bavarian Illuminati Motorcycle Cabal? INAUG: Yes. PREZ 2: Why do you want to do a fool thing like that? INAUG: (answers) PREZ 1: Your answer is as good as any. PREZ 2: Any answer is as good as yours. PREZ 1: Let's get this over with. Repeat after me: I, _______, do pledge to fly the Illuminati colors when I ride and protect them from harm. I pledge to uphold the principles, and learn the teachings of the Bavarian Illuminati Moorcycle Cabal, so that I may achieve Illumination and manifest the Ideals of Individuality, Freedom, and Self-Determination. I pledge to obey the club rules, whatever the hell I decide them to be. I pledge to support my chapter, ride with my fellow Presidents, and participate in club activities whenever I am able. I pledge to aid my fellow Presidents when they are in need, to freely ask for aid when I am in need, and to love my fellow Presidents as the Brothers and Sisters that they are. I pledge to never reveal the Cabal's secrets, including the size of the membership, the identity of the Presidents, the locations of the chapters, the age and origin of the Cabal, or the details of this Ceremony. I pledge to disseminate Illuminati propaganda and induct new Presidents who prove worthy. I pledge to seek to blow the citizen's minds, to give conflicting and misleading information to the idly curious, to never tell the truth, and to always lie. PREZ 1: _______, if you've sworn to always lie, how do I know that you are telling the truth now? INAUG: (answers) PREZ 2: I think he's lying. PREZ 1: This is good. ________, throughout this inauguration ceremony, you have followed your instructions well. Do you intend to continue to do so? INAUG: (answers) PREZ 2: As a President of the Bavarian Illuminati Motorcycle Cabal, you will have to think and act for yourself. PREZ 1: Do you understand, ______? INUAG: Yes. PREZ 1: Good. One more thing: the Great Sacrifice. You got any money on you? (If INAUG answers Yes): PREZ 2: Fork it over. PREZ 1 take the money and puts it in the container of MONEY. (If INAUG answers NO): PREZ 2: That's OK, we have plenty. (In either case, PREZ 1 takes a $1 bill from the container of MONEY and hands it to the INAUG.) PREZ 1: Take this in your left hand. See the Eye in the Pyramid? INAUG: Yes. PREZ 1 & PREZ 2: Burn it! (As INAUG puts the MONEY into the FLAME, PREZ 2 seizes his left wrist and holds it while the money burns. Simultaneously, PREZ 1 seizes INAUG's right wrist, takes the DAGGER from the ALTAR, passes it through the FLAME, and puts the edge of the blade against INAUG's right wrist.) PREZ 1: With this Great Sacrifice, you are hereby inaugurated as a President of the Bavarian Illuminati Motorcycle Cabal... (PREZ 1 tenses up, grimaces draws a sharp intake of breath, and shouts) NOW! (PREZ 1 removes the DAGGAR and kisses INAUG's right wrist while PREZ 2 takes the BEER and douses the burning MONEY.) PREZ 1: Welcome to the club, Prez! PREZ 2: Welcome to the club, Prez! (At this point, the new PREZ is presented with whatever literature, certificates, or regalia that has been prepared for the occasion, and is led out by PREZ 2.)